Carol D.

45 years ago, today, I had an experience that catapulted me into a life I could not have dreamed of - even in my wildest dreams. I was back at my house in Wellesley, MA after having been living on the streets and sleeping on a park bench for some time. Yes, months before I had destroyed my house - broke dishes, furniture, put holes in the walls, and whatever else I could think of and then I ran away from home …. and I lived alone. That is a snap shot of where alcohol had taken me.

My mental status as well as my general appearance did not even closely resemble who I was bred to be. I had not worked in several years. I did not have a car an only a few raggedy clothes. The house was a gift from my grandmother several years before, in a loving attempt to help me get my life squared away.

How and why I returned to my house is a long story and is written in full in other places, but there I was standing in my bedroom - afraid, alone, still very angry, and wondering why I was back at my house when I actually enjoyed the peace of my park bench.

A bright white light lit up my room and my mind was silenced for a moment and a deep, loud voice got my attention. The voice said to me, “I know you are in the bottom of a bottomless pit and would like for me to lift you out. I cannot do that. BUT, if you are willing to do the work, I will give you a ladder and hold your hand throughout your journey. Then my life flashed before me and I knew that my misuse of alcohol, and whatever else I needed to use to hold the pieces of me together, was my problem - not the world trying to “get me.” It was not people, places, and things blocking my highest good - it was my own thinking and my abuse of chemicals.

I found some girls who had been trying to help me for about a year, but I kept trying to kill them. They immediately came to me and wrapped me in a blanket of unconditional love and held me close teaching me how to crawl, and then walk - always there to help me up again

It took me six months to learn the Serenity Prayer, reading it every day, because I had forgotten how to comprehend language. Even after thirty days of no alcohol, it took me one week of working all day, to put 50 numbered photos in numerical order.

Today, I live a life better than anything I could have thought possible, but I have never walked alone. The promise and the voice I heard 45 years ago, has never failed me (although I often had my doubts).

Today, and for many years, my heart and my mind and my soul has been consumed with one thought and it is my passion, my vision, my purpose, and it is in charge of how I show up for life. My purpose is to do whatever I am called to do to help make a world that works for everyone.

Everyday I wake up and say, “Thank you, God, for another day and another opportunity to make a difference. What is mine to do today, who may I help today?”

"What can I do to make a better world - a world that works for everyone?”

Yes, today I celebrate the amazing life I have had for 45 years without alcohol, or any other mood-altering drugs. But I don’t celebrate me so much as I celebrate you, and all who have surrounded me with love, and caring, and all to who have held me up day after day. Thank you to those who guided me in turning hate to love and loving me - long before I could love myself.

Thank you, God, for a life that allows me to be of service to others - everyday. Thank you, God, for a life that allows me to wake up every day with the desire to do my part in making a world that works for everyone.

Thank you to all of YOU for your unconditional love and support - especially when I was unlovable.

I am so blessed, I am so very grateful.